I have attended a funeral in the past, but now I find myself in the unexpected position of arranging one – my daughter's. It's a daunting task to begin considering the details of her farewell when I have no prior knowledge of her preferences, as these conversations are not the type that parents usually have with a 19-year-old. Questions abound: where should the service take place? What flowers should adorn the setting? Which hymns should be sung? The choice of a coffin, burial versus cremation – these are all decisions that must be made. What attire should attendees wear? Who will carry her casket? What music should be played? And where should the gathering after the service be held? These are complex queries to answer, concepts that never crossed my mind before. Now, within a limited time frame, I must make these decisions to ensure a perfect day in honour of our beloved Sophie.
Despite the immense difficulty of this task, I wouldn't alter any of the choices we've made. Every decision was deliberate and heartfelt, crafting an event that truly reflected Sophie's essence. Throughout the service, we managed to create special moments and memories that paid tribute to her. The song that accompanied our entry into the church was one Sophie had shared with me the day before her passing – a track I was familiar with, yet the surprise of its "newness" made it a unique moment. Her brother skilfully compiled a montage featuring breathtaking images of her life, a tribute we decided to share on social media due to the outpouring of support from those gathered outside the church. This gesture garnered almost 2000 views within a day, underlining the impact Sophie had on countless lives.
Sophie's favourite colour was green, a shade we incorporated into her wicker coffin with a delicate ribbon and trim. The ladies present also adorned hints of green in their nail polish, while I opted for a full green ensemble – from my nails to my handbag and matching shoes. Her father and brother, and those who served as pallbearers, wore matching green ties, which added to the overall cohesiveness of the setting.
Selecting appropriate hymns was challenging; however, we decided on the first two that were part of both our wedding and Sophie's christening. The third hymn was a cheerful choice intended to uplift the atmosphere within the church. From the outset, I knew I wanted to be one of the pallbearers – a decision that required immense strength. It wasn't the final thing I'll ever do for Sophie, but it marked the last time I would carry her.
Following the church service, we held a more private gathering at the crematorium with close family and friends. This allowed us to share a more intimate service, complete with songs that held deep significance for us. As for the wake, the obvious choice was the family pub. Our incredible friends took charge, managing the drinks and catering, enabling us to bid farewell to our cherished daughter – a kindness for which I'll be eternally grateful.
Comments